50 questions to get to know each other, laugh and really talk

Questions for couples

After a while together, conversations fill up with logistics: who picks up whom, what is for dinner, which bill is due. It is not a lack of love. There is just rarely a question that opens something different.

These questions are for that. They work for dating, engaged and married couples, for a date night or for an ordinary evening on the couch. You do not need all of them: one good question a night is enough.

On this page

• Questions to get to know your partner
• Fun questions for couples
• Deep questions for couples
• Questions for dating couples
• Questions about the future
• Questions about faith
• How to use these questions

Questions to get to know your partner

To discover what you do not know yet, even after years together.

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Outdo yourselves in honoring one another. Romans 12:10

1. What do you remember about our first conversations?
2. Which habit from your childhood would you like to relive with me?
3. What are you proud of in me that you have never told me?
4. Which words of mine make you feel loved?
5. Which dream of yours have you not told me about yet?
6. Which fear of yours would you like me to understand better?
7. When you are sad, what helps most from me: talking, listening, or simply being with you?
8. How do you like me to apologize so that it feels sincere to you?
9. Which small thing I do brightens your day, even if I do not know it?
10. What do you do for us that you feel nobody sees?

Fun questions for couples

To laugh, remember and plan something together. Great for a date or a long drive.

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

1. Which song reminds you of us?
2. If we had a free weekend and little money, what would you want to do with me?
3. Which photo of us is your favorite, and what do you remember about that day?
4. Which of my quirks makes you laugh instead of annoying you?
5. Which of our pet names do you like best, and where did it come from?
6. What was our simplest date that turned out to be one of the best?
7. What small tradition would you like us to invent just for the two of us?
8. Which place would you like to go back to with me, or discover with me for the first time?

Deep questions for couples

For when there is time and calm. Listen without interrupting or defending yourself: the goal is to understand, not to win.

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. James 1:19

1. When did you last feel truly heard by me?
2. What is hardest for you to say to me out loud?
3. What do you need from me this week that you have not dared to ask for?
4. Was there a moment when you felt alone even though I was right there?
5. Which wound from before us do you think still affects us?
6. After an argument, what truly helps you come close again?
7. Which joy of yours do you feel I did not celebrate enough?
8. Is there something from our past together that we could let go of now?

Questions for dating couples

To get to know each other without rushing and see where you are heading.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. 1 Corinthians 13:4

1. What was the first thing you admired about me?
2. What did you recently discover about me that surprised you?
3. What date would you like to plan for us next month?
4. What do you need in order to trust what we have more?
5. Do you feel we are moving at a good pace, or would you like to go slower or faster in something, like meeting each other's families or making plans?
6. How do you picture our relationship five years from now?
7. What do you think the next healthy step is for us?
8. How can we put God at the center of our dates and conversations?

Questions about the future

To dream together and agree on what matters.

A man’s heart plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

1. A year from now, what would you like to be different between us?
2. If we could change one big thing this year, what would it be?
3. What would you like us to be remembered for as a couple?
4. What small habit could we start this month that we will be glad about in ten years?
5. How do you picture us when we are old?
6. What kind of friends do we want to be for other couples?
7. What would you like us to learn together next year?
8. What small commitment would you like us to make to each other for this year?

Questions about faith

For couples who want to grow in God together, Catholic or Protestant.

For where two or three gather together in My name, there am I with them. Matthew 18:20

1. If we could pray together for one thing this week, what would it be?
2. In what part of our life is it hardest for you to trust God?
3. How do you feel God has been speaking to you lately?
4. Which verse held you up in a hard season?
5. What do you thank God for in our relationship this month?
6. At what moment in our story did you see God guiding our steps?
7. Which promise of God gives you hope in this season?
8. Which Bible passage would you like us to read together this week, and why?

How to use these questions

1. Pick a single question a night. One good conversation is worth more than ten quick answers.
2. Let each of you think of your answer before hearing the other one. That way nobody adjusts what they were going to say.
3. Listen to the end and ask "why?" before giving your opinion.
4. If a question touches something sensitive, thank each other for the honesty and pick it up another day. Not everything gets solved in one night.
5. End with something small: a hug, a short prayer or a plan for the week.

Want to pray together? Here are 16 prayers for couples, and here are 43 Bible verses for couples with a question for each.

Questions people ask

What questions should I ask my partner to know them better?

The ones that cannot be answered with yes or no and that go into the person’s story: their childhood, what is hard for them to say, what makes them feel loved. There are ten to start with on this page, under "Questions to get to know your partner".

What are deep questions for couples?

The ones that touch what does not get said day to day: when you last felt heard, which old hurt still weighs on you, what you need and have not dared to ask. They work best with time, without screens and listening to the end.

What questions should we ask on a date?

A fun one to start, like which song reminds you of the two of you, and one about the future to close. Mixing a light question with a deeper one keeps the conversation flowing without feeling like a test.

How often should we ask these questions?

One a day is a good rhythm. What changes a relationship is not one long talk a year but many short, honest conversations.

Do they work if one of us is not very religious?

Yes. Only the last section is about faith. The rest work for any couple, and you can leave the faith questions for when you both feel comfortable.

Questions from the Amaré app. Bible text from the Berean Standard Bible, public domain.